the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
