oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
