Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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