I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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