My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
