Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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