she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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