I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
