Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
