Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Drunk is not a location!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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