sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
