I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
