i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Randomize
