Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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