your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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