What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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