Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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