Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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