you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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