somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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