dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
as a side note pls kill me
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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