If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
