I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Bring me that man meat
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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