Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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