At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
