Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize