The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
