Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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