She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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