I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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