I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
