Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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