what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
