I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
