I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
