and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
