I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
