We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
