If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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