Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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