Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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