i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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