Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
