you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
