Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
