i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
