Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Randomize
