You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
