i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
