She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
