your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
