I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
